Summertime Haze
1.18 - The Nurse
“Please! There has to be something you can do,” Toby begged.
It’d been about a month since Toby had ran into Ellen in the church. Every night, the words she said weighed on him. His children did need a fatherly figure. And his wife, well, soon to be ex-wife, was sick in the hospital. So, as much as he wanted to go to Henry, apologize for everything, and finally have the chance to love him with all his heart, he just… couldn’t.
So, after yet another sleepless night spent with nobody but his restless thoughts, Toby decided to do something. Afters some vigorous googling, Toby went to a see a therapist that was known for being oddly convincing, and had hypnotherapy listed as one of her specialties on her website.
The therapist, Melody, shook her head. “The only thing I can do is help you accept yourself, Toby.”
“That- that’s not true! Your website says you can do hypnotherapy! Please, just… turn me into a man that can love his wife again.”
“My website still says that?” Melody muttered to herself. “Better remove that, then… But no, Toby. I can’t do that.”
“And why not? Clearly you can, you wouldn’t have listed that as a speciality on your website if you hadn’t had some degree of success!”
“I have. And that’s why I can’t do it. It isn’t right, Toby. It isn’t right for me to go around turning people into things they’re not. No one should have that kind of power. It goes against everything I believe in- even if your mind is convinced that you’re something you’re not, I’m sure that somewhere deep inside, the person is aware of what exactly was done to them. And, in moments of extreme emotion, the old person might emerge, become vividly aware of the sad life they’ve been living. The people who’ve had that done for them… the people I’ve condemned to that fate… I’m sure that finding any kind of inner peace would be impossible for them. Life would be a constant battle between themselves and their false self.”
“Look,” Toby said firmly. “That’s a cool story and everything, and clearly, you have great reasons for having turned your back on that practice, but I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me how much I’m suffering, it doesn’t matter to me if I never find my inner peace, all that matters to me is reuniting my family. My children and my wife deserve the proper family.”
“Toby, listen to me-“
“No, you listen to me,” Toby said, cutting her off. “Being… like this… as much as I want it to be, I know… it can’t be right. Not when my family is going to suffer because I’ve finally accepted myself. It can’t be the will of the Mother. She’d never make my family suffer!”
“Toby,” Melody said, looking him dead in the eyes. “I can’t say I’m a very religious person, but I’m sure that the last thing the Mother would want is for one of her children to live out an unhappy life with the goal of pleasing her. Your family will adapt. I’m sure of it. No matter what, you will always be your children’s father. You clearly love them enough for that to always be true.”
“But! But…”
“Come here, Toby,” Melody said, standing up and holding out her arms.
After a moments hesitation, Toby stood up, stumbled into them, and started to cry.
“I may not be able to help you love your wife again… but maybe I can help you be her friend. And I’m sure you’re not going to need any help loving this new guy.”
After meeting with Melody, Toby went back to the hospital, and sat in the waiting room. He knew that the last person Hayley would want to see was him, but he knew he needed to make an effort to be her friend, as Melody had said. For the sake of his children. And… he wanted to apologize again. He had so many apologies to make. Even if he was apologizing for the rest of his life, it would be worth it for Toby. Hayley was just too important to him. He’d spent too many years with her to suddenly not be in her life anymore.
Reese was upstairs, trying to convince Hayley to see him. He’d called her on his way to the hospital, and begged her to try to get Hayley to see him one last time. Reese had promised that she’d do her best but… Toby was still concerned.
So, to kill time and to calm his rushing mind, Toby sat back and people watched.
At one point, a group of people dressed up like it was the 80s wandered into the hospital.
“We’ve checked everywhere else. The bar, the park, the night club,” a brown haired man said. “This has to be the place she came to!”
“Really?” a blond said. “I think we all have to admit that while Summer tries… she’s more dedicated to alcohol than she ever will be to work.”
“Summer may be an alcoholic, but she’s not an idiot,” a brown haired girl said. “I’m sure she’d be well aware of the fact that she can’t miss work every time she drinks a glass of wine.”
“So, you’re saying its better that she comes to work drunk then not at all?” the blond said.
“No, Travis, I’m just saying that she can handle her alcohol well enough to go to work, and she isn’t about to just ignore her job. Despite her issues, Summer does have a sense of responsibility,” the brown haired girl sighed, exasperated.
“Can we please stop bickering and actually look for her?” the brown haired guy cut in.
Travis and the brown haired girl nodded.
Toby watched them as if he were in a trance. He wasn’t sure why, but something felt… wrong. Maybe it was his anxiety about potentially talking to Hayley, but he couldn’t take his eyes away.
The group of threes’ eyes fell on the area Toby was sitting in, and they started to head in his direction. He sat up straighter, even though he was nowhere near the right state of mind to talk to them, he still readied himself. But, instead, they walked over to the woman sitting near him.
“Jo?” the brown haired girl said gently.
The woman looked up at them, blinking. “Not you… Not you. I already told you, I’m not helping you in your court case.”
“Uh…” the girl looked at the two others, and they shrugged.
“We’re, uh, just looking for a friend… Summer?” Travis said.
“I certainly haven’t seen her around. Isn’t she busy drinking herself into oblivion? I heard about her getting thrown out of the court room for that.”
“…yeah…” Travis muttered. "But, uh, here's the thing..."
Toby tuned out as his thoughts went back to Hayley. She was a good person. He was sure that if he explained himself, and if he gave her enough time, they’d be able to at least be acquaintances again. She was by no means a spiteful person. Hayley just had her issues with Reese that she tried to keep quiet, and she, understandably, had never been all that fond of Henry. She’d never act on those feelings, they were just things she’d complained to him about in confidence. Toby was sure that Hayley would be able to either bury or get over whatever romantic feelings had existed in the past, and they’d be able to be friends again. Act as a pair that could support their children, even if they didn’t love each other any longer.
Toby was interrupted from his musing by the brown haired guy.. “Excuse me, but have you seen a woman with long blonde hair and blue eyes? She’s tall, might have smelled slightly of alcohol… And, uh, I’m José, by the way.”
“Uh, no, sorry,” Toby sputtered.
“You okay man?” José asked.
“Fine… just fine… I just need to see my wife. Well, my ex-wife, but I still need to see her.”
“That’s cool that you’re still friends enough to visit her in the hospital,” José nodded. “I hope she feels better.”
“And… I hope you find this missing woman.”
José nodded, gestured to Liberty and Travis, and the three of them moved on to talk to the next person.
Toby fell back into his trancelike state, until he was suddenly jolted awake by Reese bursting into the lobby.
She looked around the room, arms crossed, until her eyes fell on Toby.
“Toby,” she said firmly. “Upstairs. Now!”
Toby was up on his feet and rushing after Reese before he’d even fully processed what she’d said. Something was wrong. He was sure of it. He’d had the feeling the whole time he’d been in the lobby, and Reese’s sudden appearance just made his suspicions worst.
As they ran down the hallway Hayley’s room was in, they passed by a woman in scrubs with long blonde hair, blue eyes, and she smelled heavily of alcohol. She gave him a weird look, then continued stumbling down the hallway. That had to be the Summer those people downstairs had been talking about. But she didn’t matter. All that mattered to Toby at that moment was Hayley.
Once they reached the door to Hayley’s room, Reese stopped him by standing in front of it. “Toby, I need you to listen to me before you go in. I don’t even know how to start telling you this, but-“
“Move, Reese, this is clearly urgent and I don’t want to waste time standing around,” Toby said, shoving past her.
He threw open the door, and ran to Hayley’s bedside.
“Hayley, it’s me, Toby. I have so much I want to talk to you about, so much to apologize for, you are too important to me for me to…” Toby started to say. But… something seemed wrong. So very wrong.
Reese entered the room, and looked down at the floor, unable to look at Toby and Hayley.
“Hayley?” Toby asked. “You asleep?”
He grabbed her shoulder, as an attempt to shake her awake, but when he touched it, all he felt was the coldness of death, the warmth that had always been there before rapidly leaving her body.
Toby flinched, and quickly removed his hand from Hayley’s shoulder. He stood up, and turned to Reese.
As he started to speak, tears streamed down his face. “What happened?” he sobbed. “What happened! She was getting better! She should have been on her feet again by the end of the week!”
Reese finally lifted her eyes and made eye contact with Toby. “It was… that nurse. She locked me out of the room, and I- I didn’t know what to do, so I went to get you, but… when we passed her in the hallway, I just knew- I-“
Instead of responding to Reese, Toby ran to the door, opened it, and shouted. “We need a doctor!”
While Toby did that, Reese slowly walked over to Hayley, and touched her neck, looking for a pulse.
“Well?” Toby asked, walking back into the room.
“Toby, why are you even bothering calling in a doctor?” Reese muttered, stepping back from Hayley. “Hayley… she’s gone Toby. There’s nothing a doctor’s going to be able to do to reverse this…”
“No… No! If one doctor did this to her, then, surely, another can reverse it!”
“Stop it, Toby, stop it!” Reese yelled. “She’s not coming back, okay? Stop giving yourself- and me- false hope!”
As doctors rushed into the room, and Toby and Reese were forced to return to the hallway, Toby had a horrifying thought.
“What am I supposed to tell Nathan and Jennifer?” he muttered. “How do I tell them that they… and that I… never got to say goodbye…
Reese gave him a wide eyed stare.
Meanwhile, Henry walked down a familiar sidewalk. It’d been an idea that had been on his mind for awhile, but early that morning, Henry had resolved that it was finally the day. So, right after breakfast, he caught a bus back to his old home. Newcrest. It was time he finally payed his adoptive mom, Jadyn, a visit, and thanked her for everything. Despite everything going on with Toby, he felt like he was finally in a place where his mother would be proud of all he’d accomplished. Finally in a place where he’d be able to admit everything to her.
He slowly approached the house he’d grown up in, memories of his childhood rushing back to him. He hated the fact that the memories he had of drawing with chalk on the sidewalk with Jadyn, or playing board games on the front patio, were tainted by the memories of his last night there, where Jaxon and Tiki taunted him after he was outed. Leaving was definitely the right decision. He was sure of it. He never would have been able to escape his past if he’d stayed.
Henry took a deep breath, and walked up the stairs to the patio. He knocked on the front door, and he heard a familiar voice. “Coming, coming…”
Henry straightened his posture, and forced a giant smile onto his face as Jadyn opened the door.
“Henry?” she exclaimed.
Jadyn ran forward, and gave Henry the biggest hug, almost making up for the years of hugs he’d missed since disappearing on her and running away to Willow Creek.
“It’s me, mom, it’s me,” Henry smiled.
“Come and sit,” Jadyn said, leading him over to the bench on the front patio.
The two of them had spent so many nights there, watching sunsets and sunrises, there had even been some nights where Jadyn had woken him up in the middle of the night to watch shooting stars. So many good memories… if there was one thing he regretted about leaving Newcrest, it was abandoning Jadyn.
“You look so grown up now, Henry,” Jadyn said, smiling sadly.
“I- I’m sorry, Jadyn. There’s so much I want to tell you, about what’s happening, what I’ve experienced-“
“Henry,” Jadyn said gently, stopping him. “There is no reason to apologize. I understood why you felt like you had to run away.
“You- you do?”
Jadyn nodded. “About a month after you left, a girl… Tiki, I think her name was- came and explained what she’d done, and how much she regretted it. After that, I understood why you had to run away.”
“So… you know? You know that I’m… that I’m gay?”
Jadyn nodded. “And completely okay with it. Honestly, Henry, I can’t believe you thought I’d judge for that! I may be a religious woman, but I’ve never been one to stand for the Church's discrimination.”
“I… I don’t know what to say, Jadyn…”
“No need to say anything about it, Henry,” Jadyn smiled. “Just tell me about what you’ve been up to, what’s going on in your life, everything. I want to hear it all.”
Henry nodded, and he told her about everything. The two of them chatted late into the night as Henry finally caught his mom up on his life, and how much it had improved since that fateful night so many years ago.