Summertime Haze
1.15 - A Change for the Worst
Toby was spiraling. He woke up in the morning, after around an hour of sleep, to the loud beeping of his alarm. He turned over, to be met with Hayley’s reassuring smile he’d gotten so used to, and was always shocked when he was met with nothing. At that point, he had to drag himself out of bed, cook breakfast for the kids, then drive them to school. Toby then spent the rest of the day in the hospital, at Hayley’s side, trying so hard to tell her everything, but no matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn’t say the words. He then had to pick up the kids from school, and after dinner, he was usually up until 5 in the morning, consumed with so much guilt that he never felt tired.
Toby knew that if he kept this lifestyle up for much longer, Hayley wouldn’t be the only member of his family stuck in the hospital.
It didn’t help that he’d cut off everyone else who could have helped him. Toby had recognized that he was going to regret that the moment he did it, but he couldn’t go back on his word now. He’d never go back on his word again. Not after what happened to Hayley. Toby was convicted that all of this was the Mother’s doing. He’d sinned. He’d failed to be a good husband, and he’d fallen for a man. Neither were holy. This was his punishment. Hayley deserved none of it, Toby should have been the one to fall ill.
Reese tried her best, she came by often and checked in on Toby, but Toby could tell she was aware that she was no longer one of his greatest friends. She didn’t let it bother her, though. Toby really appreciated her, but he wanted Henry, Jordan, Bennett, Hope, and Paolo.
All the same… Toby knew he had to talk to someone.
The next morning, instead of going straight to the hospital, Toby instead went to the First Church of our Mother.
He sat himself down in a pew near the back of the room, and gazed into the mirrors placed around the room. In those mirrors, he saw a broken man. No wonder Reese was taking pity on him.
“Mother…” Toby said quietly. “Why is Hayley being punished? She did nothing wrong! Please… strike me down if you must, just… Hayley deserves none of this. She should be able to continue to be a mother to our children. She was more important in their lives than I ever was… than I could ever hope to be. For the sake of Jennifer and Nathan… please, Mother.”
Toby received no sign that she had heard him, but he kept his faith that she was listening and was considering his plea.
“If it… if it matters any… I’m going to tell someone today. So I can prepare to tell Hayley. Please. At the very least, let her wake up. She deserves to know the truth.”
Toby got up from the pew, and headed outside. As he walked to his car, he dialed Reese’s number.
“Hey Reese, could we meet for lunch? I’ll cook something up.”
“Uh, sure! Glad to see you’re well enough to eat lunch again, Toby,” she said.
“Hayley wouldn’t want me starving myself,” Toby said quietly. “I need to be the ideal man for her, so that way, when she wakes up, she doesn’t have everything to worry about.”
“Exactly. Hayley would want you to take care of yourself. See you at lunch, Toby!”
By lunchtime, Toby had barbecued some burgers. He sat in the backyard, waiting for Reese. She had a house key, and was over often enough. He was sure she’d find him back here.
And, sure enough, she did. She pushed open the back door, took a big whiff of the air, and smiled. “Are those your famous turkey burgers, Toby?”
“That they are,” Toby nodded. “I cooked a ton, so help yourself to how ever many you want.”
Reese sat down, but only grabbed one burger. As she put the condiments on, she talked to Toby. “So, Toby. What’s the real reason you invited me over for lunch? I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t barbecue up some turkey burgers casually for lunch following a tragedy for nothing.”
“Well…” Toby muttered. “Reese. There’s something you need to know. I… I’m…”
Reese put down the condiments and gave him an encouraging smile. “It’s alright, Toby! You can tell me, I won’t judge.”
Toby took a deep breath. “Reese, I’m gay.”
Reese blinked a few times.
Toby sat there, on the edge of his seat, anxiously awaiting her response.
To his surprise, Reese started to laugh. “Oh! Toby, I’ve known for years. You were always so awkward when you tried to kiss Hayley. I used to tell her years ago to be careful, because I could tell you’d never be able to love her the way she wanted to be loved, but she always denied it. I just don’t think she could ever accept the fact that the man she’d been with since high school is unable to love her the way he could love another man. So! How’d you realize, Toby?”
Toby looked down. “That’s… that’s where it gets bad. I found another guy, and I ended up falling for him. But I couldn’t tell Hayley, and now? That has got to be the Mother’s punishment. I pushed away the man I fell for, and Hayley hasn’t been able to wake up. I tried to have both, so now, it’s only fair that I can’t have either.”
“So… that group in the hallway at the hospital… one of them was him, wasn’t it? And Paolo… you haven’t talked to him recently because he knew all about you and him, huh?”
Toby nodded. “Yeah…”
“Listen to me, Toby,” Reese said, suddenly getting serious. “The best thing you can do for Hayley right now is tell her. It’s going to be hard, it’s going to hurt the two of yours relationship, but she needs to understand that you can’t love her the way she deserves to be loved. She needs to be able to find someone who can do that for her, and she can’t do that as long as she’s still tied to you.”
“You’re right,” Toby nodded. “Hayley… she was so good to me, always. She’d an incredible mother, and just, in general, an incredible woman. I’ll tell her.”
“You’d better,” Reese said. “I’m not going to pretend that the way you treated Hayley was okay, Toby. I’m glad you’re finally able to accept yourself, but you went back on the vows you swore. That’s unforgivable. But that’s all been done now. Can’t change the past. What matters is how you make it up to Hayley now.”
“The moment she wakes up… I’m going to tell her.”
Reese smiled. “I’m glad we agree on that. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to enjoy these turkey burgers now.”
As Reese worked on finishing her burgers, Toby’s phone rang. He picked it up, and what he heard filled him with both joy and dread.
“Hello, Toby. This is Hayley’s doctor speaking. Hayley’s woken up, and was asking about you, I’d recommend that you and your children come and visit as soon as you can.”
Toby turned to Reese.
“What?” she asked with a mouth full of food.
“Hayley’s awake,” Toby muttered.
Meanwhile, Bennett, Jordan, and Henry were headed over to the Reardon house. Bennett had received a strange call from his mom, Alina, asking that they come over as quickly as possible.
“What do you think could be going on?” Jordan muttered as they hurried across the street.
“Maybe it’s something to do with Toby?” Henry asked hopefully.
“Definitely not,” Jordan said quickly. “If Toby had anything to say to you, he’d better call you directly. I won’t have it any other way.
“And my parents don’t even know Toby,” Bennett said. “Don’t worry, we won’t hear anything about him.”
Henry didn’t respond.
Bennett pushed open the front door, and was surprised to find a room swirling with activity. Several policemen roamed the house, and one sat talking with Alina, and Bennett’s dad, Layne.
“Oh, thank goodness, you two are here,” Alina said, standing up. “Excuse us officer, could we talk to them privately first?”
The officer nodded, and Alina and Layne headed into the living room and gestured for Bennett, Jordan, and Henry to sit down.
“I’ll just say it,” Alina said. “Regan’s gone missing.”
“She what?” Bennett exclaimed.
“I wouldn’t worry too much just yet,” Layne said with none of his usual humor. “Regan regularly vanishes for a day or two… it’s just been 3 days now, and she somehow turned off the tracker on her phone. But I have all of my friends here- I’m a retired cop, if you didn’t know, Henry, Jordan- and I think with all of us combined, we’ll find her.”
“We just called you guys here to let you know what happened and ask if you two have seen her recently…”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve talked to Regan…” Jordan said, shaking her head.
“She never liked me much, so I’m sorry, I have no idea,” Henry frowned.
“Other than a phone call last week, I haven’t talked to her one on one since I moved out,” Bennett said.
“Did she give you any hint of where she might have gone in that phone call?” Layne asked.
Bennett slowly shook his head. “She just seemed really bitter. Bitter that I got to move out, bitter that she was still in school, bitter that I had friends who weren’t awful… other than that, I’ve got nothing. I’m sorry mom and dad.”
Alina shook her head. “No, Bennett. That’s actually really helpful. She never gave us any sign that she was jealous of you or just generally unhappy. Layne, is it possible she’s trying to mimic Bennett? Make friends, move in with them, the whole thing?”
Layne frowned. “I wouldn’t rule it out. Thank you all. The other men are just going to ask you a few more questions, then you’re free to go. Thank you for your help.”
Later that evening, Regan spent her time lounging on a stranger’s couch.
“So you guys hate Henry too?”
Ellen smiled. “I wouldn’t say we necessarily hate him, we just want him to see the error of his ways-“
“Cool, lady. I get it. As long as it’s going to get Henry away from Bennett so he can be my stupid big brother again, I’m down.”
Ellen smiled her warmest smile, then held out her hand. “Well Regan, we’re glad to have you on board.”
Regan shook it. “I’ve got some other friends I can bring on, just so we can be sure we can bring him down.”
“We’re not- we’re not going to actually hurt him, right?” Jaxon stammered.
Ellen turned to look him dead in the eyes. “We’re going to do what’s necessary to turn him into a decent member of society.”
“I’m not cool with hurting him, okay?”
“Huh. I thought this was some Henry hate club or something to counter the Ellen hate club he has,” Regan drawled. “That’s the whole reason I sought you out, Ellen, anyone Henry hates has to be decent.”
“Jaxon, don’t forget that you owe me. You’re out here to pay me back. And if that involves hurting Henry, I’d better see you jump at the opportunity. Understood?” Ellen said firmly.
“Y-yes, m’am,” Jaxon stammered.
“Cool,” Regan said. “Sounds like we’re all back on the same page. I’ll bring my friends next time. Then, we’ll actually be a force to be reckoned with.”
She casually got up from the couch and let herself out the front door without even a goodbye.
As soon as the door shut, Ellen turned to Jaxon, fury in her eyes. “If you’d rather avoid me ruining your life, I’d strongly recommend not expressing doubt in our conviction when we’re talking to someone who can help us, Jaxon.”
“I-It won’t happen again,” Jaxon said quickly.
Ellen snorted. “It better not."